


In the Darkness We Create

by scatterthewords



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Dark, F/M, Major character death - Freeform, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-25 13:19:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7534252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scatterthewords/pseuds/scatterthewords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a slight AU set, for the Doctor, about a decade after the events of The End of Time. For Rose, six months after Doomsday.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea for this when I was reading Doctor Who lore of episodes I haven't seen, and came across the Valeyard. I started wondering what a truly dark!Doctor would look like, and what would drive him to it. This is the result.
> 
> I'm going to level with you guys: this fic goes to a very dark place. It can be really rough. It took a lot of passion and energy for me to write, and it was one of the reasons I don't write much anymore. I put a lot of work into this fic, and it didn't have much response when I posted it, far less than my other stuff. I don't blame anyone. Character death is an absolute no for a lot of people. But after how much I put into it, to get so little back... it kinda took the heart out of writing for me. Years later, and I think I'll go back soon. Grad school is almost finished, and I honestly miss the person I was when I was writing. But this fic changed a lot of things for me, as trite as that sounds. It was darker than anything else I've ever written, and after a time that gets in your head.
> 
> Take care of yourself. If character death isn't your thing, stay away, or stop reading when the warning pops up later in the story.

Heart hammering in her chest and feet slapping against the pavement, she pushed her way through the city. She’d only seen the blip on the map for a moment, but it was unmistakable. Unmistakable and impossible. But then again, she’d long since learned that nothing was truly impossible.

The flow of people thinned until she was alone, skidding around a corner. Out of breath and sure she was half out of her mind, she stared up at the blue box and the smiling, brown pinstripe-suited man in front of her.

“Doctor?” she whispered, terrified that her voice would break the spell as it previously had in so many other dreams.

His face split into a grin that made her heart stop. “Rose Tyler.” He pushed off the door, holding his arms open to her. She shot into them, arms wrapping tightly around his back, nuzzling into his hold as he gripped her just as tightly.

She closed her eyes, pressing her face into the crook between his neck and his shoulder. She wouldn’t let this dream shatter like the others had. At least, not so soon. She would cling to him, to this, for as long as she could.

When minutes passed and he didn’t fade away, when she felt her own hands shaking against his back and his fingers softly stroking her hair, she pulled back and stared up at him.

“But… how? You… You said it was impossible. That the universes would collapse. Oh my god, are we in danger?” She tried to pull out of his arms, her Torchwood training kicking in.

He kept a tight hold on her arms, a bark of laughter escaping him. “Rose, Rose, calm down! No one’s in danger, nothing’s gonna end. I’m clever, remember? And besides, you promised me forever. You think I’m going to let that go that easily?”

She tilted her face to meet his, eyes scanning, analyzing.

The lines around his eyes and on his forehead were thicker, heavier than they had been the last time she saw him. His hair, still looking like it had been blown about by the strongest winds in the universe, didn’t seem as soft and thick. There was a tightness around his mouth that he’d only shown occasionally but now couldn’t seem to shake. And his eyes… Those once warm, friendly, too-open eyes were somewhat darker, more closed off, more like her first Doctor’s in that basement so very long ago.

Only half-aware of what she was doing, she raised a hand to stroke his sideburn, across his cheek. “How long has it been?”

His hand closed over hers, pressing it tightly against him before he pulled away. “Just a few decades, nothing to worry about. Now allons-y, Rose Tyler! Places to go, things to do and see! In the year nineteen dash alpha dash circeel there is the most beautiful storm going on. You can stand in the middle of it and completely—”

She pulled herself short just before she entered the TARDIS, tugging his hand and pulling him back to her. “Doctor, wait!”

Surprise flashed in his eyes, like sparks through the darkness, but he fell silent, raising an eyebrow at her.

“I can’t… I can’t just leave my mum. It’s only been about six months since we last saw you, on the beach. She took care of me, got me back on my feet and living my life. She’s the only one who was there to support me. I can’t just leave; it would crush her.”

She expected him to take a step back, shuffle his feet, look anywhere but her, retreat into himself like he always did. Instead, his grip on her tightened almost painfully, not even loosening when she winced. “Are you saying you won’t go with me, Rose? After all I did to get back to you?”

She squared her shoulders, shaking her head. “No, ‘m not saying that at all! I just… well, I at least need to say goodbye. Because this is it, yeah? A one-time ride. We can’t just go popping back to this universe for tea, can we?”

He finally let her go and took a step back. “No. This is the last time you’ll see her.” He visibly forced himself to brighten up, bouncing on his feet. “Shall I go with you, then? Surprise ol’ Jackie. Let her give us a grand send-off, and then off into time and space we go?”

She stared at him. “What?” he finally asked.

“Did you just… volunteer to go see my mum?”

He shrugged, reaching out for her hand again. “I want to make sure you’re happy before we go. If that means seeing your mum, even putting up with another Tyler slap, I’ll do it. For you.”

She let him pull her into the TARDIS. He began moving immediately, spinning and whirling around the console while she sat on the jump seat watching. He was smoother, more precise, with a lot less babble. He seemed overall more withdrawn, darker, more careful. What had she missed in those last few decades for him?

And for him to voluntarily go to her mum screamed to her that something was wrong. It wasn’t very… Doctor-y. Even when there was a reason to go back home, he’d always made a show and a fuss, dragging it out to the last minute before he let her go. He never came with her unless she asked him to, or they’d had a particularly close call and he was in one of those moods where he was afraid to lose her.

She was shaken out of her thoughts when the TARDIS shuddered to a stop. He was standing in front of her, head cocked to the side, hand held out to her. “Rose..?”

She shook her head, forcing a smile on her face. “Shall we, then?” She hopped off the seat, taking his hand in hers, fingers twining between his like they’d always done.


	2. Chapter 2

She pushed open the door, stunned to find that the Doctor had landed them right in the middle of Jackie’s living room.

And, even better, Jackie was standing in front of the blue box, mouth open with a shattered bowl of soup at her feet.

Jackie’s eyes shifted from Rose to the Doctor as he stepped out behind her, one hand shoved in his pocket and the other wrapped around her daughter’s.

“Mum—”

“Hello, Jackie.” The Doctor dipped his head to her.

“You get away from my daughter.” Rose was stunned by the quavering rage in her mother’s voice. Jackie crossed the room in two steps, both hands coming up to the middle of the Doctor’s chest and shoving hard. He stumbled back against the TARDIS with a look of shock on his face. Jackie kept right with him, bringing her fists up to hit him on the arms, the chest, the hands blocking his face. “You leave her stuck here, no matter what she wants. She was only saved from that void because I sent Pete back! She’s destroyed for weeks. Wouldn’t get out of bed, would hardly eat. I was seeing my own daughter dying because of you! Then you call her with some freaky telepathy, make her think you’re taking her with you, and it’s just to say goodbye, like she didn’t already know! We had to start all over! She’s just getting her life back together, just starting to live again, and you will not—”

“Jackie!” The Doctor’s hands shot out, wrapping around her wrists and pulling them away from him. “Jackie, just listen to me!”

Jackie glared at him, breathing heavily. Then she brought her foot down as hard as she could against his shin. He dropped her wrists with a yelp, hopping on one leg and holding his injured shin. Jackie huffed in anger and spun around, stalking back towards the couch. She stopped behind her spilled soup, huffing again and tapping her foot as she continued to glare at him.

He took a few steps forward, holding his hands out towards her in a comforting and surrender-y movement, and crouched down and picked up the shards of the bowl. Holding them together, he pressed the sonic screwdriver against the seam until the bowl was back in one piece. He straightened up but didn’t retreat, hands disappearing once again into his pockets. “Sorry I can’t do anything about the soup.”

Jackie’s tapping foot became a heavy thud in the quiet room.

“I’ve come back to take Rose with me.” Jackie took a step forward, hand raised, and he flinched back. “I brought her back for a proper goodbye first.”

Jackie’s hand stilled, hovering unsurely in the air. Her eyes flitted to Rose. “You’re really going to go with him again?” Before Rose could answer, she gave a mocking laugh, shaking her head. “Of course you are, sweetheart. You’ve been waiting for this.” She sighed, dropping her hand. “You’ll stay for tea, first.”

“Mum, I don't—” Rose began.

“Of course we will,” the Doctor answered, smiling cautiously towards Jackie.

Jackie glowered at him in response. “Don’t try to butter me up. It won’t work.” She stalked out of the room and Rose could hear her calling for Tara, the only servant she’d kept on staff. She came back into the room a few minutes later, holding little Tony in her arms, clutching at him like Rose was sure she’d do to her otherwise.

The Doctor’s eyes flitted between her and her mum, and she could see him working out a way to calm the tension, probably in an effort to make her smile again. After a long silence, he stepped closer to Jackie, eyes fixed on the little boy in her arms. His own wide brown eyes focused on the Doctor, his fist in his mouth as he stared unblinkingly on the stranger.

“So this is the new little brother, hmm? The product of Jackie and Pete’s reunion.”

Jackie twisted, moving Tony out of the Doctor’s line of sight. “Oh no, Doctor, I’ll not have you running off with both of my children.”

The Doctor huffed in annoyance. “Jackie, I would never—”

Tara entered the room, shooting worried glances at them. Settling a tray of tea on the table between the couches, she ducked her head and exited the room as quickly as she’d come. Jackie, still glaring at the Doctor, moved to one couch while Rose and the Doctor moved to another.

As Jackie poured the tea, her eyes never wavered from the Doctor. “You failed to protect her last time, even though you promised.”

The Doctor nodded, focusing on his hands in his lap. “Yes.”

Jackie pushed the cups towards them, sitting back and holding Tony closer to her. “I suppose it would be useless, then, to even demand something from you. ‘S not like I’d know either way, anyways.”

The Doctor looked up, suddenly every line of his body stern and serious. “But I can promise you, Jackie. I am not going to let Rose go this time. I’d tear the universe apart to keep her safe. I know you don’t think much of me, I know you have no reason to take my word on this, but I promise you on the heart of the TARDIS and the lives of my people that Rose will not reach harm.”

Rose was stunned by his words. Before, he would have never mentioned his people, let alone swore on them and the TARDIS to protect something as passing as her life. The dark undertones of his voice made her shiver. The way he hadn’t taken a crack at Jackie made her frown in concern.

Jackie scanned his eyes, then sighed and picked up her teacup. Her eyes darted to Rose. “You take care of yourself. Don’t rely on this to keep you alive.”

“I know, Mum,” Rose responded, still glancing worriedly towards the Doctor.

Tony took that moment to reach for Jackie’s cup, managing to spill the warm liquid all down himself and his mum. Heated wails rose from him, face scrunched up and rapidly turning red. “Oh, dear,” Jackie murmured, rising to her feet and rushing out of the room.

“What is wrong with you?” Rose asked, turning on the Doctor as soon as they were alone.

His eyes flashed with surprise and something else as he pushed back into the couch, staring at her, startled. “What do you mean?”

She motioned in direction of the door. “You’ve never got on that well with my mum. You haven’t tried to take a crack at her once. You’re even letting her insult you without complaining to me as soon as she leaves the room or looking at me to save you from her.”

He stared at her and she fell silent, embarrassed by the tone she was using on him. “Rose, this is your last chance to see your mum. I figured you’d rather have me playing nice than trying to make it the usual miserable affair. I’m making it bad enough by taking you away for good this time.”

She stared, shocked once again by his words. She hadn’t expected the Doctor to be so… insightful and open. What had she missed while he was on his own?

He threaded his fingers through hers and gave her a small smile before Jackie came back to the room. She walked more slowly and heavily than Rose had seen in a long time, a sigh escaping her. “I guess you two had best be off before universes collapse or the way closes or some such.”

Rose stood, embracing her mother, trying to swallow down the tears in her eyes. “Give Mickey my flat. He’s had his eye on it for ages and some of his stuff’s over anyways. And… And tell everyone I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. But he needs me.”

She pulled back and Jackie squeezed her arm. “Of course he does, sweetheart. Just be sure to look after yourself, alright?”

She nodded, stepping back into the waiting embrace of the Doctor. He reached his hand over her shoulder to shake Jackie’s. “You’re a formidable woman, Jackie Tyler. Be sure to keep that husband of yours and his organization in line.”

She laughed, swatting him away. “Go on, then, be off with you, or you’ll never get out of here.”

“Bye, Mum,” Rose mumbled, swiping at tears as she stepped towards the TARDIS. One last glance over her shoulder was all she got before the Doctor stepped in behind her and shut the door.


	3. Chapter 3

He slipped around her to start at the controls, coming to stand in front of her before the TARDIS started dematerializing. “Rose?” he asked softly, ducking down to try to catch her eyes. His hand slid along her cheek, brushing at the tears falling down it. “I need you to come sit, Rose. The crossing isn’t the smoothest, if you remember, and I’d rather have you safe.”

She swallowed hard a couple times, choking on another wave of tears before she nodded. Small steps and his strong, guiding hand had her sitting on the jump seat and fumbling to clasp the restraints around her. His hands flitted over the bindings, making sure she was safe, before he reached to flip the last lever.

The entire ship shuddered and shook, making a horrible noise. The Doctor remained at the side of the console, feet spread to balance his weight as his hands held him upright. She couldn’t help the little bubble of laughter that rose as she watched him bouncing as he had so often done. He caught the sound and turned to look at her, waggling his eyebrows with a grin.

Only one place in the room burst into flame as they came to a shuddering stop; the old girl had gotten hardier since the last time they’d traversed the void. Things had barely fallen silent before he’d quelled the fire and stood in front of her again. A tentative smile stretched across his face. “Are you alright?”

She wiped the rest of her tears away, taking a deep breath. “I will be.” He pressed a hand to her cheek, and she leaned against it gratefully. “So what did you want to show me? What about this storm?”

He took a step back, waving his hand. “Nah, we’ve missed the storm. It’s not important. That’s alright; we’ve got plenty of other adventures to pursue! All of time and space at our fingertips, Rose Tyler, and nothing to stand in our way.”

She grinned up at him, tongue caught between her teeth. “What d’you wanna show me first, Doctor?” She pressed the release button on the restraints and hopped down.

“Well,” his hand absently darted out to smooth out her shirt along her waist, “We’ve popped back into the universe near Rumbrana. The most volcanically active planet in any system! And the future of the human race, you lot are so clever, you make a settlement there. And instead of living in a constant state of fear, watching as your homes and lives get destroyed, you harness that chaotic power into the most renewable source of energy heard of at this time. Huge chasms, a constantly changing landscape, and the most interesting guided tours you’ll ever hear in your life, Rose. Bit physically active, this place, but what do you think?”

She beamed up at him, slipping her hand automatically into his. “I was in Iceland the last time their volcano erupted, over in Pete’s World. Gorgeous sight, once we got out of the danger zone and caged the Holioffer.” His eyebrows shot up at her casual use of the alien’s name, and her grin broadened. She had so much to tell him; later. “That sounds wonderful.”

“Why don’t you go change into something meant for warmer weather than London fall, and I’ll meet you back here in five?”

***

“Doctor, I… I don’t think… I’d really rather not.” Rose rocked back on her heels, sliding her hands into her back pockets.

He looked down at her, frowning slightly and furrowing his brow. “Honestly, Rose, it’s just like the mules back on Earth. It won’t hurt you. And if you try to walk, you’ll not make it very far; not in this heat, with your body’s limited ability to retain any water.”

She eyed the creature in front of her and stepped back further. “Pete tried to get me out on the horses he owns; I fell off. Twice. Why can’t I ride with you?”

“We won’t make it through half the tour if we overload the animals like that. Come on, where’s the adventurous Rose Tyler I used to travel with?” She knew he was challenging her by the glint in his eyes and the lift of his eyebrow. She’d never let him down before. It was only that she’d learned a bit more caution when…

She sighed, looking away from his face. “Fine.” Gritting her teeth, she gripped the sides of the saddle as tightly as she could, slipped one foot into the stirrup, and slung her other leg over the beast. Her knees clamped into its sides as it startled a bit, rocking from side to side, and her flailing hands caught its mane in one hand and the reigns in the other.

“It senses your nervousness. Relax, and everything will go fine.” Their guide rode up next to Rose, smiling calmingly at her. “Ven’s never let me down before.” Her dark hand reached out to stroke the beast’s neck, and it settled almost immediately.

“Without you, Mera, we’d all be dead,” the Doctor called, trotting his animal around in a way Rose knew was him showing off. “Which way first?”

Mera exchanged a rolling of the eyes with Rose, even though an amused smile tugged at her lips, before she turned back to the Doctor. “I’ll remind you, sir, not to wear out the hrans, follow behind me, and to obey all my instructions at all times.”

“He’ll have a problem with that one,” Rose interrupted. “He’s never obeyed a single rule in his life.”

“Excuse me!” the Doctor protested, while the girls dissolved into laughter.

“Well, let’s hope your mate can follow the instructions for the afternoon, in any case. You’ve paid for a trip to the volcano’s peak. I haven’t lost a company yet, and I don’t plan to start today.”

Mera made an odd clicking sound in the back of her throat, and her hran moved forward, weaving around Rose’s and the Doctor’s to start up the narrow path. The Doctor shot Rose one more pout before following along behind.

“Rumbrana has been an established colony for the past sixty years. Desperation and a lack of fuel and heat sources led the first colonists here. Scientists aboard set immediately to harnessing the power of the large amounts of volcanoes here to be helpful, rather than harmful,” Mera began, turning slightly on her mount so that her words would carry down the hill. A small geyser of lava flared ten meters from the path, and Rose watched the white-hot magma slide down the hill. Her hand wrapped around her water bottle, holding the cold surface close to the heated skin at her neck.

“Once harnessed, the thermo-tectonic energy could be used to power the towns, filter water, maintain cooled greenhouses for food growth, and lead to more research. We generate such an excess of power that our energy cells are one of the only exports of the planet. The demand is high; we power every colony within two light-jumps.”

“Even with the various outlets for power, you have to have quite a bit of excess, with as active a planet as this,” Rose said. “What happens to the overflow? I’d imagine it would eventually pose a threat.”

The Doctor turned to look at her, undisguised surprise and pride on his face. Mera, however, nodded noncommittally, waving a hand vaguely to a far away range of volcanoes. “The only population has spread out to the southern hemisphere. The northern half of the planet is reserved for excessive overflow. We still manage to put it to use, however. Some mining companies make forays to the area to collect stores of minerals and volcanic rock. Off-world vendors buy them to make their products out of. With the volcanoes constantly producing more lava flows and the oceans cooling them to useable slabs, we won’t run out of a source in the foreseeable future.”

“How many lives have been lost? I can’t imagine this is the safest place to live, even though your system offers a bit more stability than you’d expect.”

“There were three tectonic-related deaths among the original settlers, but since then, I am happy to report that all deaths on Rumbrana have been natural causes. Mostly old age, those from the original group that are getting on in years, or the occasional illness caught from off-world.”

“That is impressive!” Her eyes were drawn to the shimmering ground a few dozen meters away. A small bot hovered over the air, releasing a steady flow of coolant air to solidify the lava before it moved any further down the hill. The Doctor’s hran nudged her own, and she turned to catch his eyes, a smile drifting across his face. “This really is incredible, Doctor. Thank you.” She reached her hand out, sliding it into his and squeezing gently.

Mera continued to explain the history of the town below them and the various functions of the equipment they passed as they trekked up the slope of the volcano. The Doctor’s cooler hand in her own grounded her, even as the sites around her reaffirmed that this wasn’t a dream, that she was back with the Doctor, that the stars were within her reach once again. All the knowledge she’d gained to convince Pete and the board, and then to actually start working on the dimension canon project, would only help her show the Doctor that he’d made the right choice in coming back for her, that she could be useful to him as more than just a hand to hold.

She’d drained two bottles of water by the time they reached a flat landing and Mera told them they could walk to the lip of the volcano. Her legs wobbled a bit when they hit the flaking ground; she knew she’d be sore the rest of the day from the ride on the hran.

“Aren’t you hot at all?” she huffed in annoyance at the Doctor, taking the cloth he held out to her and swiping at the stream of sweat sliding down her face and neck. “You’re still in your suit!”

He shrugged, that superior smirk of his made her want to slap it away. “The ability to regulate your own temperature is a useful one, Rose. I’m surprised you humans never developed it.” He turned and hurried up to Mera’s side, gracefully avoiding Rose’s smacking hand.

Mera smirked back at them, one foot braced against the last ridge of the mountainside, the other keeping her steady below. “Are you sure you’re up to this, Rose?”

Rose huffed in mock annoyance, smiling up at her behind the Doctor’s back. “Yeah. He’s hauled me to worse places. I think I’ll be able to survive this one.”

“Good. I’d hate for you to become my first statis–”

“What is that?” the Doctor called out, leaning forward dangerously so that Rose was grabbing at the back of his suit jacket, afraid he’d tumble into the open vent below. She peaked around him, eyes immediately landing on the silver egg-shaped device fixed to the wall away from them. His sonic was out and pointed at the thing before she could even blink, high-pitched whirring competing with the rumble of released gases.

“It’s only one of the thermo-tectonic devices I mentioned earlier, that help relieve the pressure of the volcano so that we can harvest power without it overflowing.”

“No, no no no, something’s wrong,” he insisted, pulling away from them to scramble closer to it, sonic still scanning.

“Doctor? What is it?” A note of worry crept into Rose’s voice as she watched him move towards the machine.

“Really, Doctor, it’s only doing its job. I’ll have to ask you to–”

The ground shuddered beneath them, pitching them to the side. Mera caught Rose, holding her steady as they watched the machine shudder and then whine. “No.” Rose felt the word as a brush of cold air against her cheek, and she shivered. “Doctor, you may be right! We need to get down the hill, tell the response team–”

Her words were drowned out in the grinding of stone as the shelf beneath them collapsed. Rose’s heart lurched into her throat even as her hands flailed, scrabbling for a grip. Her nails scraped along stone, and her fingers finally found purchase. Her body slammed into the inside wall of the volcano, knocking the air from her.

Everything shook as she blinked away the dust, looking around desperately for any avenue of help. Mera blinked back at her, terror on her pretty face as she hung next to her. “Oh god. Hang on, just hang on,” Rose gasped. She glanced down, immediately wishing she hadn’t when the rising level of lava greeted her. “Doctor!” she tried to yell, tried to scream, but the words burned her throat and made her cough on the super heated air.

“Rose!” She looked up to find him crouched above her, hand extended. She reached for it, but the ground shuddered again, and the stone collapsed beneath her fingers. A scream bubbled its way up her throat, but the Doctor caught her by the wrist, dropping the tectonic device cradled under his arm to haul her up.

Her stomach scraped against the ground as he pulled her up. “Oh god, Mera!” As soon as she was seated solidly on the edge, she turned around, eyes searching for the guide. Nothing but rising lava and smoke.

“Rose, come on, now!” the Doctor shouted in her ear, hauling her up and running towards the tethered hrans. He threw her over the saddle of one, scooped up the abandoned device, and turned his own around to face the bottom of the hill. Terror and heat spurred the animals on as they raced down the hill towards the tour center and the TARDIS.

“Doctor, all those people in the town, we have to warn them, we have to do something!”

“Do what, Rose?” he demanded, rearing his beast in and hopping to the ground in front of the blue doors, holding out an impatient hand to her. The ground shuddered again, and a glance over her shoulder showed the lava had spilled over the lips of the volcano and was quickly closing in on them. “There’s no time, Rose! Come on.”

Her head whipped around, eyes landing in despair on the small town nestled at the base of the volcano. They didn’t even have time to scream as the ash rolled in waves over them, chased by the heat of the lava. She covered her mouth to hold in her horror, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away, couldn’t move. Oh god, all those people.

“Rose.” Finally she turned, eyes locking with the Doctor’s the desperation there sent a shudder through her. “Rose, please. I can’t lose you. Not again.”

She let him pull her off the hran and through the doors of the TARDIS, turning away from the sickening screech of metal as the flow engulfed the visitor center. The door closed, cutting off all sound and heat.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gets into a bit of rough sex. If that’s not your thing, you won’t lose too much by skipping over it.

The Doctor was already at the console, sending them into the vortex. She felt numb all over, a cold wash of horror replacing the heat of the planet. She moved without really thinking and sat heavily on the jump seat, fingers curling into the seat until they started to hurt.

The Doctor sat down next to her silently, shoulder nudging hers and hip sliding against her. “I’m so sorry, Rose,” he began, breaking the silence.

She bit her lip, face turned to the wall, and shook her head.

“No, I should never have–”

“Doctor.” Her soft voice silenced him instantly. “I’m tired.”

She felt him tensing next to her. “D'you wanna go to bed, then?”

She shifted slightly, resting her head on his shoulder. “No. Can we… Can we go somewhere… quiet? Can we go see Jack?”

Her head moved with his shrug, and she watched his hand flutter in front of her. “Nah, Jack’s busy.” She didn’t raise her head, just nodded it against his shoulder. She recognized the evasion from last time, but didn’t feel like pushing it.

When his fingers slid along her jaw, she shivered and raised her head to look at him. He twisted, both hands raising to cup her face. Her breath hitched in her throat. His eyes, so deep and sad and shuttered off, scanned hers.

His head tipped down, her lips were already parted and ready for him. She sighed into the pressure, her arms winding around his neck. She was startled by the passion, the desperation she could feel in that kiss. He tightened his hands on the sides of her face, then nudged her jaw down with the heel of one. She gasped when his tongue thrust into her mouth, sliding along every surface he could reach to draw her taste into his.

She tugged hard on his hair, and he broke away from her with a growl. His teeth and lips moved to her neck, drawing hard to leave a deep mark. She shuddered for breath, torn between pulling him away and holding him where he was.

His hands left her face, ghosting over her shoulders and down her arms before wrapping around her waist, pulling her closer. She made a needy noise in the back of her throat, dragging her fingers down his chest before pulling his tie out of the way and unbuttoning his first button. His hands had already skimmed beneath her shirt, his startlingly cold fingers digging hard into her back.

He released her neck with a wet sounding pop, licking up to her earlobe before nibbling on it. He pulled away long enough to yank her shirt over her head. She shivered at the onslaught of cool air and the hungry look in his eyes as he scanned her. “Bedroom,” she said breathlessly, sliding off the jump seat and her new position in his lap, twining her fingers with his, and tugged him towards the hallway.

It didn’t take long for him to catch up. He slipped around her, tightening his grip on her as he pulled her forward at a faster pace. She thought at first that they would go to her old room, but he continued past the door, deeper into the ship where she knew his bedroom was.

It was so different from the time she’d come in here after a horrible nightmare and he’d held her while coaxing her back to sleep. Then, there had been soft lights twinkling on the ceiling, a deep red cover on the bed with some sort of golden symbol on it, and mechanical bits and books scattered on every available surface. Now, the lights were gone, a few candles flickered from different places on the wall, the bed was sheathed in a silky black, and the place was clean. Something she’d never expected to see from the Doctor.

He didn’t give her long to examine the changes in the dim light. He wheeled on her, pulling her hard against him, and began backing her towards the bed. His lips closed on the skin of her breast above her bra, sucking with enough force to make her cry out. Too stunned to stop her fall when the backs of her knees collided with the bed, she fell underneath the Doctor’s weight. Rose let herself indulge for a moment in grinding against the bulge that pressed against her before her fingers went back to work on his shirt, determined to get him as naked as she was.

She’d just popped the last button and began pushing at his shirt and jacket when he snaked a hand beneath her, releasing the clasp on her bra. Confused space was put between them as they each pulled back unwillingly to strip themselves of the hampering layers. He laid back down on her just as she arched her hips up, slotting him into the perfect place between her thighs. “Ohhhh, Rose,” he groaned, and his forehead dropped to her shoulder.

She grinned, wiggling against him, before she scratched her nails down his back to his bum, then cupped him and pulled him forcefully against her. “Need a hand there?” Her hand navigated between them, palming the front of his trousers.

He nipped reproachfully at her collarbone before swatting her hand away, his own nimble fingers moving to the button on her jeans. She couldn’t hear the soft pop of the release over his ragged breathing, but she felt as his hand slid into the space beneath her knickers, before his fingers slid through her wet heat.

He barely paused long enough to swirl his fingers around her before plunging two inside. Her hips jerked up against him as the muscles in her back spasmed. “Oh god, Doctor!” It was her turn to bury her face in his shoulder, one hand fisting the sheets next to her and the other winding into his hair, guiding his mouth back to her neck. “Doctor, faster, please, oh god. Missed you. Missed you so mu–, so so much. Never leave you. Oh god, Doctor, right there. Never leave you, not again.”

He growled, pulling his hand away from her. A whimper was torn from her throat and she pouted up at him as he moved, kneeling in front of her. His fingers, still sticky with her, tightened on her jeans and knickers and jerked down. She lifted her legs to make it easier for him, and he had them off her, flinging them somewhere in the darkened room before she had time to do more than gasp. His hand moved to the clasp on his trousers. He squeezed himself, pressing down for a minute before going back to undressing. Her eyes traced his tie as it pointed downward to exactly what she wanted to see.

His eyes locked on her face as his fingers pulled on the zip, then tugged his trousers and pants down. She didn’t move her gaze, hardly dared to breathe or make any move that could stop this like so many other times before they’d been separated. It had been a long six months without him, and then the horror and death of today had not been the best kickoff to their reunion. This was all she wanted, to be right here with the Doctor. To be here when he needed her, and to have him when she needed him.

And she needed.

Her eyes trailed up slowly from his cock, over his bared chest, and to his face. She shivered again at the dark, shielded look in his eyes. But then he grinned at her, and something loosened in her chest.

She reached for him, but before she could touch, his hands closed around her wrists, pulling them up over her head as he laid down once more, skin to skin. Her breath caught at the feel of him, nudging against her.

He held both her wrists in one hand, pressing hard against the pillow above her, while his other traced the curve of her shoulder, the swell of her breast, the dip of her waist, and the line of her hip. When that hand slid between them to line him up before he slammed into her, she let out a string of profanities so intense he sank his teeth into her shoulder.

He hardly gave her time to adjust, just a slow grind before he pulled back out and thrust hard enough to rattle her teeth. Between the lust she could feel in every line of his body and the months spent away from him, she was more than ready, arching her hips up to meet him even as she unconsciously pulled against his hold on her wrists. The more she struggled, the more his grip tightened.

He shifted on his knees, pressing him exactly where she needed. She whimpered and moaned, trying desperately to catch her breath. “Doctor, oh god. I… oohhhhhh… I love you.”

He gave an especially sharp thrust, releasing her shoulder to raise his head and catch her eyes. “You are mine,” he growled. One hand ghosted over her breast, cupping it firmly, commandingly.

She made a noise in the back of her throat, somewhere between a whimper and a sob, and nodded her head. “Yours. Always. Yours. Doct–”

She screamed the last of his name as he pinched her nipple and thrust once more, sending her tumbling over the edge. The veins in his neck stood out as he tightened one hand on her wrists, the other on her hip and pounded into her. Finally something snapped in him, and he scraped his teeth down her throat as he shuddered inside her.

His weight collapsed against her, his hands finally slackening. Her fingers danced over his back, rubbing soothing circles even as she turned her face to kiss the side of his head. “I love you.”

His hands tightened on the sheets next to her before he rolled away from her, then pulled her back into his chest. “You’ll always be mine,” he growled again in her ear. “No matter what.”


	5. Chapter 5

She stretched contentedly, reveling in the soreness in her muscles and in her core. But when she caught sight out of the dark purple mark on her shoulder, she frowned and craned her head down. Her eyes traced the flurry of bruises that ran across her chest, her stomach, her hips, and her thighs. She would have to have a talk with the Doctor about respecting the limits of her human body.

But the thought melted away under the onslaught of warm water as she moved into the shower. She scrubbed the sweat and soot off her skin, loosened her limbs, and carded her fingers through her hair. Despite the horror of yesterday–she knew she’d never forget, but she also knew that she and the Doctor had to continue on–she found herself humming, a smile tugging at her as she remembered the Doctor’s lips moving against her own.

Unbidden, the memory of that empty look in his eyes just before he’d covered it with a grin flitted through her mind and she shuddered. The water felt too hot, the air too cold. She shook herself, shut the shower off, and climbed out, toweling herself off. The TARDIS had an outfit ready for her on the bed, something that was light and comfortable and would draw the Doctor’s eyes down her legs.

She found him in the console room, tinkering away as always. She slid up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face between his shoulders. He tensed only for a moment before his hand closed over hers, which was resting on his stomach. “Hey, you,” she said, muffled by his suit jacket.

A laugh rumbled through him. “Good morning. I thought you were going to sleep all day. Ready for another adventure, then?”

She slid around him to tuck herself under his arm, adjusting her grip only slightly. “Where are we off to today?”

“You, Rose Tyler, are in for a treat. Yexentreba II is host to the most stunning star display of the century. Really, it’s stunning. If you stare at the dancing lights of Serba for longer than an hour at a time, your addled little human brain will forget itself and start shutting down. But in the time you can enjoy it, it’s definitely worth it!”

She laughed, pinching him tightly on his side. Of course he’d wave off the danger that easily. “It sounds delightful. When are we going?”

His arm tightened around her shoulder as the TARDIS rocked and shuddered to a stop. “Would you believe my genius brain managed to get us here at exactly the right moment?” He grinned at her, pressed a quick kiss to her lips, then extricated himself to grab his coat from the support strut and hold the door open.

As soon as she stepped onto the surface of the planet, her eyes were immediately drawn upwards. The stars literally danced in front of her, swooping and twirling and shimmering in a way she didn’t even know was possible. Bursts of red, purple, green, and blue filled the sky. The Doctor stepped up behind her, humming a complex overture that fit the celestial movement perfectly. She could easily believe she’d forget herself after watching this for too long.

She took a step sideways to see a different system, and stumbled as someone ran into her. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” she cried, turned to help the person off the ground.

His eyes were widened in fear, his hair scraggly and sparse as it scattered across his head, his clothes ragged and hanging off his lean frame. “Sorry. So sorry, ma’am. Excuse me.” He clenched a hand over his heart, shot one last fearful glance over her shoulder, and hurried away quickly.

Her eyes followed him, then slid to the buildings around them. Everything was in squalor, doors sagging in their frames, windows gaping where the glass was missing, trash and dirt piled in the alleyways between houses. A frown creased her face as she turned back to the Doctor.

He hadn’t seemed to notice; his eyes were still staring after the man, expression dark and guarded.

“Doctor?”

He whirled to face her, his features immediately crinkling into a grin. “Rose Tyler, what do you say we check into the hotel at town square before all this,” he waved a hand vaguely in the air, “gets to be too much for either of us?”

He took her arm and steered her down the street the man had disappeared down. “What’s wrong with this place, Doctor?”

He arched an eyebrow at her. “I try to take you to the best places, Rose, but surely you’ve noticed by now that there’s poverty everywhere. It’s not exactly a problem you humans ever learn to solve in any point in your history.”

She huffed, tugging him to a stop just as they entered the square. It was just as empty as the street they’d come from. “If something as impressive as this star display were happening here, though, you’d think there’d be some festivals, the town cleaned up a bit, that sort of thing. Not that I’m saying I need to be shielded from the harsh realities like this. Something just seems a bit off, is all.”

“The best treats are always away from the public favor,” he said, his eyes sparkling. Before she could argue anymore, he tugged her forward and into the lobby of the largest building in the area. The woman behind the desk looked up with wide eyes that matched the man’s from the street. The Doctor had barely said anything before she was bobbing in a bow to them, scurrying around the desk to press a key into his hand, and motioning them up the stairs. Rose turned to watch her practically cower behind her desk as the Doctor steered her towards the next floor.

“Bit skittish, this lot, aren’t they?”

“The people here are a bit shy around newcomers, that’s all. Come on, then. There should be some fantastic nibbles waiting for us in our room.” He let go of her hand to bound up the last few flights of stairs.

The room was nicer than anything else she’d seen on the surface of this planet. A large bed dominated most of the room, clean black sheets stretched across it. One wall was windows, with an unimpeded view of the sky over the roofs of the town, and curtains to pull across when it got to be too much. The Doctor had been right about the food. A table stretched across the wall closest to her, laid with dishes that made her mouth water. He’d already set into a plate of some sort of meat, and grinned at her as the door clicked shut.

She’d barely loaded up her own plate before he stood, crossed the room to pull the curtains closed, and returned to her side. His fingers along her jaw tilted her head up, and he searched her eyes for a moment before he leaned down to press a kiss to her lips. “Listen to me, Rose. I’ve got to pop out for something real quick. It’ll only take a mo’, but I need you to stay here. You can watch the stars for a while, but promise me you won’t spend too much time looking?”

“Why can’t I come with you? Better with two, yeah?”

He laughed, stroking her cheek before he pulled away. “I’ll be out a little longer than an hour, I’m afraid. Time Lords can handle that display longer than you. I need you to stay safe, Rose. Promise me you’ll stay here.”

“Yeah, alright,” she sighed. “Promise me you’ll come back soon? I think we still have a bit of unfinished business from last night.” She tossed a heated glance at the bed.

It surprised another laugh out of him and he bent to press another quick kiss to her before he moved towards the door. “I’ll make it quick as I can. Call the front desk if you need anything.”

She carried her plate to the window, pulling the curtains aside just in time to see him crossing the square, hands in his pockets. She smiled after him as she watched the way his shoulders turned before the rest of his body. Once he’d gone, she turned her eyes up to the sky, watching the dance of stars across the blackness.

Movement below caught her stare. People slowly emerged, scurrying from building to building, looking around them before they darted on their way. She frowned again, remembering the terrified looks of the people she’d met so far. Helping people is what they did, her and the Doctor. And that started with finding out what was wrong.

The stairs took her right back down to the street. Five people hurried past her in quick succession, only shooting her quick looks before passing without a word. She’d tried to stop one, but it had only resulted in a squeak and a scramble to get around her and hurry on her way.

She was just about to give up, frustrated, when she spotted a woman across from her, hiding in the shadow of a building and watching Rose from beneath her fringe. She glanced around, then beckoned Rose forward. Rose shot a weary look back at the hotel door before moving to join the woman in the shadows.

“You don’t belong here,” the woman whispered in a rough voice. Her eyes never stopped moving, flitting between Rose and the streets around them, always searching for something.

“What’s happened here?” Rose asked, ignoring the obvious statement. “What’s everyone so afraid of?”

“The Valeyard.” The woman whimpered involuntarily, clutching at her hair. “He… He… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’ve been putting off my work. I need to–”

She moved to get up, but Rose caught her by the arm, pulling her back. “No! Wait. Please. Just tell me what’s wrong. I have a friend, he’s called the Doctor. He can help.”

The woman shook her head, but she resumed her seat. “You do not know the danger you face. Oh, child… Beware the Valeyard. He rules this world now. We weren’t… We’d never… Weren’t prepared for him. Never fought someone with his power, didn’t stand a chance. We weren’t a querulous people. But… We had something the Valeyard needed.”

The darkness in the woman’s tone, the way she shuddered as she spoke, raised gooseflesh on Rose’s arms and sent a shiver down her back. “You keep saying that name, the Valeyard. Who is he?”

The woman’s hand clutched Rose’s so tightly she winced. “He rules everything now, everything. He has more power than you can understand. He… He killed our King, ended our hundred years of peace. Put every man, woman, and child to work digging for his metals, working in his factories to build his devices. We don’t know where he came from, but we can’t stop him. You’re in so much danger, child, more than you understand. The Valeyard, he…”

The woman’s incoherent ramblings were making her head spin. She’d seen people that had been down-trodden before, abused to the point of breaking. But she and the Doctor had seemed to have a knack for running into the people with a bit of spark left in them, the desire to escape from whatever was holding them down. This woman’s mind was so broken that she couldn’t even answer Rose’s question.

“You need to run, girl!” The woman’s harsh tone made Rose lock eyes with her. “You’re not safe, none of us safe, but you especially. The Valeyard–”

“Rose!”

Rose looked up at the sound of her name being called. The Doctor was running towards her, fury stamped on his face and in every line of his body. The woman fell away from her with a shriek, disappearing into the shadows like a cockroach fleeing from a flashlight. The Doctor stood in front of her, shaking as he glared off after the woman. “What are you doing out here, Rose? You could have been killed! You promised me!”

He didn’t wait for her answer as he grabbed her by the wrists, hauling her to her feet and towards the hotel, barely waiting for her to make it up the front stairs without stumbling before he continued through the lobby and up to their room.

“Doctor, wait!” she cried, digging her heels in as they reached the door, tugging on his hand to free her wrist. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? You can’t treat me like–”

He turned away from the door, pulling her hard against him. His arms wrapped around her, and she could feel that he was still shaking. “I could have lost you, Rose. If something out there hadn’t taken you from me, the stars could have shut your mind down and there would be nothing I could do about it.”

She stood frozen, stunned for a moment, before her arms closed around him as well, stroking up and down his back. “It’s okay, Doctor. I’m alright. I’m sorry I scared you, but I’m alright, I’m here.”

“I can’t lose you, Rose,” he murmured against her shoulder, his arms tightening even more.

“You haven’t lost me,” she answered back, pressing a kiss to his temple. What had he gone through without her?


	6. Chapter 6

“So this Valeyard guy is the reason everything’s trashed, and all the people are terrified out of their minds. We have to do something, Doctor. They can’t survive like this.”

He’d had a frown on his face for the last half an hour, and he hadn’t released his vice-like grip on her knee since she sat next to him. “Rose, if that woman is to be believed, the Valeyard is not to be taken lightly.”

“We have to help them, Doctor. We have to overthrow this guy, and get these people their lives back. It’s what we do.”

“Yeah, you’re right. But you have to listen to me, Rose.”

***

“Are you sure you can fit through there?”

She craned her neck to glare at him over her shoulder. “Oi, are you saying something about my bum?”

He gave it a light swat, then pushed her forward. “Only that it’s lovely. Now be quiet.”

She huffed, then crawled forward. It was a tighter fit than she would have liked, but she wasn’t about to let the Doctor think she couldn’t still keep up with him. The building had been locked down pretty tightly. They were lucky enough to have found this vent.

She wiggled out the other side, grateful to wind up in a dark room. The Doctor clambered out after her. He nodded to her once before crossing to the door and peeking his head out to look around. He motioned for Rose to stay silent and follow him as he disappeared around it.

The Doctor’s impeccable sense of timing came in handy as they slipped through the halls, avoiding any of the guards who patrolled the grounds outside. Every mounted camera they passed was facing the opposite way. One slowly started to crane towards them, and Rose opened her mouth to warn the Doctor, but his hand closed around hers, pulling her into a room behind him.

A huge bank of monitors faced them, flickering between a myriad of images from all over town. The room was huge, but it only held one man. A man swathed in impressive robes, muttering to himself as he rushed from one monitor to the other, punching commands into a computer.

“You know, for a corrupt, power-crazed man, your security’s a little lax,” the Doctor drawled lazily, stepping forward away from the wall.

The man whirled towards them, his eyes going wide at the sight of the Doctor. “Wh-what are you doing here?”

“Wellll, you see, Rose and I are here to stop you. It’s sort of what we do. Seems you’ve been causing a lot of trouble around here, Valeyard.”

Rose didn’t think she’d ever seen someone’s eyes so wide. “V-Valeyard? B-but I’m not…”

The Doctor sighed loudly, shooting a look back at Rose. “Come off it, Valeyard. Must we really do this every time? Although it is a nice change of pace from the usual gloating rant about how we’ll never stop you, how we’re playing right into your plans. Ooh, do you have nefarious plans?”

The man looked between the both of them, mouth opening and closing several times.

Rose stepped around the Doctor, brows furrowed. “Doctor, I think… Do you suppose we got the wrong guy? I mean… He doesn’t exactly strike terror into your heart, does he?”

The Doctor wandered towards the bank of computers, scanning them idly. “Course he is, Rose. This is command central, right here. Look at this! He’s got direct lines into the factories, the mines… Even the nurseries! Rose, would you look–”

She didn’t take her eyes off the man. He was trembling now, staring at the Doctor’s back. “Mate, are you alright?” Rose asked, taking a careful step towards him. “Has someone put you up to this?”

“I… I… I…” His whole body shuddered terribly, then froze. The sudden stillness forced her back a step. His eyes went vacant, and his hand moved slowly into his robe.

He pulled out a long, jagged knife, and Rose couldn’t suppress the squeal of fright as she took another few hurried steps backwards. The man shook his head once, lightly, his lips moving silently, before he jerked forward, lunging at her.

When he was only a hairsbreadth from her, the Doctor appeared behind him. With a snarl, he caught the man by the back of his robe, jerking him away. The knife clattered to the floor, but the Doctor didn’t stop as he wrapped his hands around the man’s head. With a deft flick and a sickening crack, he snapped his neck, letting the body fall to the ground with a heavy thud.

Rose let out another shriek, but the Doctor was already with her, arms wrapped around her and holding her tightly against him. She struggled away from him for a moment, shaking as she stared at the fallen man, but his grip tightened almost painfully on her arms. “Rose, are you alright?” he asked, low, concerned, eyes searching her face and one hand moving up to tilt her head so he could scan her neck.

“You… You… You killed him, Doctor. Just like that, without a moment’s pause!” She jerked herself out of his grip, gaping at him.

Something hardened in his eyes but he smoothed it over, stepping towards her again. When she flinched back, he held his hands up soothingly. “He would have killed you, Rose. He was going to kill you. I couldn’t let that happen.”

She just stared at him as he reached out softly for her, pulling her back to him. When she didn’t fight against him, he angled her head up, lips ghosting over hers. “Oh, my Rose, I couldn’t… I’m sorry you had to see that, but I couldn’t let him hurt you. He was going to kill you and I… I couldn’t let that happen.”

His voice roughened just before he pressed his lips against hers, pouring all his fear and desperation into the kiss. She stood frozen against him, unable to participate, feeling as if she were separated from her thoughts, from her emotions.

The Doctor had killed a man. Right in front of her. Without even offering him a chance first.

He pulled back, one hand pressed carefully to her cheek. “Are you alright?”

She swallowed hard. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

He scanned her a moment longer before taking her hand, leading her away from the body and out of the building.

It was almost as if the people of Yexentraba II knew something had happened. A small crowd had gathered, and a hush fell over them as soon as the Doctor and Rose had been spotted.

“It’s alright, now,” the Doctor called out, stepping forward. “The Valeyard is dead. You can go back to your lives now.”

The hush didn’t dispel. Rose watched fear and confusion flicker through different faces. But the Doctor was back at her side, arm wrapped around her shoulders and guiding her through the people towards the street they’d left the TARDIS.

Just before she stepped through the blue doors, she caught sight of the woman she had spoken to in the square earlier that day. As she locked gazes with Rose, her eyes filled with tears, and she shook her head sadly. Rose looked away before the Doctor could see where she was looking, bit her lip, and followed him.


	7. Chapter 7

Her head propped on one hand, Rose watched the Doctor move about the room, pulling clothes on. He turned and caught her stare right as his fingers pulled his tie through the last knot. He sent her a sloppy wink and she answered with a grin. “I’ll just be off to do some repairs. You get some sleep.”

She nodded, and he hurried forward to kiss her once more before he left the room. As soon as he was gone, the smile faded from her face.

She slipped as silently out of bed as she could manage, pausing to listen for any signs that he would come back. She tugged a pair of jeans on and slipped a jumper over her head. She stopped long enough to pull her hair back from her face before peeking her head out of the door, glancing both ways, and hurrying away from the console room.

The library was eerily quiet as she shut the door behind her. Her eyes scanned over the towering shelves that disappeared into a labyrinth, and she huffed in annoyance. “Sure would be a lot easier if I knew what I was looking for.”

She squared her shoulders before striding down an aisle. Once, before they’d been separated, the TARDIS had been damaged as they’d fled from an attacker. They’d been stranded in the vortex for a week before the Doctor had managed to fix her. She’d spent much of that time wandering the library, looking for something interesting enough to catch her eye.

She’d found a shelf that looked older than the rest, with a big curving seal seared onto the top of it. Before she’d been able to investigate, the Doctor had steered her attention elsewhere, distracting her with the wonders she’d never be able to fully understand.

She strode past what felt like miles of fiction before she located it, tucked into a shadowy corner. One last glance over her shoulder and a prayer that he wouldn’t come looking for her for a while yet, and Rose turned to scan the books, running her fingers over them.

She tugged one heavy tome out, setting it on the floor in front of her. Scanning through random pages, she growled in frustration. It was all in Gallifreyan and the TARDIS still wasn’t translating. Book after book revealed the same situation. “Just give me something,” she pleaded desperately.

A ragged edge caught her eye. Picking up the book and holding it closer to her face, she found the gap where a page had been, now carefully torn out. A cautious inspection revealed a few pages missing from three of the books. Frustration and hope warred in her as she fingered one torn page. “There’s something to learn. Oh please, old girl. I know there’s something wrong. Please, please help me.” She muttered the words with one hand pressed flat against the floor and squeezed her eyes shut.

A thump nearby made her start. A thin book from a shelf higher up than she could have reached had fallen to the floor. She pushed aside the books she’d gathered and crawled towards it.

Curling circles, the same as all the others, greeted her. She stared hard at the page, and slowly the curls unfurled into words upon the page. “Thank you,” she murmured, patting the floor.

She hadn’t known what she was looking for when she’d come here, but it certainly hadn’t been this. It was a record of a court trial. The Doctor had been accused of breaking the First Law of Time and “conduct unbecoming of a Time Lord.” He’d been put to trial by the other Time Lords, with evidence being raised against him that would put him to death.

His prosecutor had been the Valeyard.

Rose continued through the trial records, her head swimming with confusion. Snatches of time, actions that didn’t seem like the Doctor at all, proof from something called the Matrix, all of it bundled together to make things look pretty bad for the Doctor.

Until it had been revealed that the evidence had been tampered with.

And that the Valeyard was the Doctor.

She gasped, pressing a hand over her mouth. The Master’s words were etched immortally on the page in front of her: “The Valeyard, Doctor, is your penultimate reincarnation.”

A possible future for the Doctor.

Where he’d lost the fight he’d always struggled and became every dark thing that had ever existed inside himself.

Things made all the worse by his actions in the Time War, actions none of the Time Lords could have predicted.

A high-pitched, worried chirping sound came from the TARDIS. She looked up, filled with a sense of dread that wasn’t her own. A door flipped open, one set into the floor that she hadn’t noticed before.

“Rose?” The Doctor’s voice echoed down the long rows of books. “Where have you gotten to, Rose?”

She dropped the book in her hands and scrambled towards the trap door, pulling it softly closed over her head.

“Ooh, I thought we’d agreed we wouldn’t get to play with our fantasies until later. Am I going to find you trussed up as some sexy librarian waiting for you?”

Her breath hitched at the playful tone in his voice, even as her whole body trembled.

“Rose?”

She pressed a hand over her mouth, trying to stifle her breathing.

“Rose, where are you?” The playfulness melted away, replaced by that darker, colder thing she’d caught glimpses of in the last few days.

“Rose? This isn’t funny. I’m not in the mood for games. Get out here. NOW!”

She swallowed hard to suppress a squeak and stumbled back into the darkness, away from the library where a fuming Time Lord stormed. She hurried as fast as she could without being able to see, getting farther and farther from his angry, demanding voice. When she stumbled into a door, she only paused long enough to shoulder it open and slip inside.

The sudden ethereal light filling the stone chamber made her blink in shock, her eyes drawn to the sunken basin below her.


	8. Chapter 8

The center of the basin cracked open and Rose shielded her eyes against the blinding glow that spilled out.

“Rose.”

She blinked at the sound of her own name, staring up into the face of a woman. The raggedy dress, mess of curly brown hair, and smudges and creases around her eyes didn’t stop her from recognizing in an instant, “You’re the TARDIS.”

The ghost of the woman in front of her smiled sadly. “In a future that will never be, this is a form I would have taken momentarily, yes.”

She longed to step forward, to trace her fingers along her cheek, to wrap her in a hug and thank her for all she’d done for her, for the Doctor. Something inside her longed to connect once more. But she knew by the golden glow that pulsed lightly from somewhere in the TARDIS’s chest, it would be a futile gesture.

“Rose, you must stop him.”

She shook herself from the reverie she’d fallen into. “The Valeyard?”

“He’s ruining everything. He is unraveling all that is, that was, that ever could be. He’s destroying the very fabric of time. This was never meant to happen. He… Oh, what’s the word? Sad word, word that dragged him down after you left… lost, yes that’s it. He lost you, and lost who he was. My Time Lord. You have to stop him, Rose. Whatever the cost.”

Tears were welling up in her eyes, dragged out by the fear that clawed its way around her chest. But she nodded, pushing them away. “Can I help him? Can I… Can I get the Doctor back?”

The TARDIS regarded her, head cocked to one side. “If anyone could save him, it would be you. But there are too many timelines. Oh, I haven’t seen so many time lines since… since before all my brothers and sisters were gone, since Gallifrey was silent and the Time Lords sang no more. There isn’t time. There’s a door.” An image appeared in Rose’s mind, as clear as if she’d been there every day of her life. “Go there. You must…”

The TARDIS fell silent. Rose turned, listening desperately. Footsteps were echoing down the corridor, the stomp of a furious man.

When she turned back, the image of the TARDIS had dissolved, a swirl of golden mist that melted back into the basin before the crack sealed. Rose didn’t wait a moment longer, running towards a door on the far end from the one she’d entered.

Instinct, or more the gentle pressure of the TARDIS in her mind, guided her forward, taking sudden turns down hallways she’d never knew existed. Adrenaline coursed through her system and she kept glancing back over her shoulder, just waiting for the Valeyard to be right behind her.

She nearly missed the door as she hurried by. A quick retracing of her steps led her back to its cold surface. She tossed one fearful look back the way she’d come, took a deep breath, and pushed against the door.

It took her a moment to register what she was looking at. One hand covered her mouth and nose as she gagged on the foul stench.

“Jack?”

A bush of hair turned towards her slowly. Face as clean and smooth as always, only his grown-out hair and ragged clothes detracted from his usual sly handsomeness. Vacant eyes stared back at her unrecognizing.

“Oh, Jack.” She took a careful step forward before dropping to her knees in front of him, brushing her hand against his cheek.

He blinked at the pressure, leaning into her warm palm. After a gentle shake of his head, his eyes slowly focused on her, warming into astonishment. “Rosie?”

The tears were spilling over again as she nodded. Smell be damned; she threw her arms around him, dragging him into a tight hug. “Jack, you’re alive! You’re really alive!”

He sat frozen for a moment before he raised his hands to her back, pressing against her. “Oh god, Rose. You… you were supposed to be safe, in another universe. Please, don’t tell me he got you too.”

She pulled back, her relief and joy melting away. “No, Jack, not yet. He’s… I don’t know, I think he’s coming. But the TARDIS, she showed me where you were. We’re going to stop him, Jack. We’re going to bring the Doctor back.”

Jack’s eyes hardened so fast she flinched back. “The Doctor’s gone, Rose. Or else he better be, or I’ll kill him myself. That bastard… I trusted him! He came back, wanted to check in on my team, make sure we were keeping Torchwood on the right track. At first, with Tosh and Owen, I thought it had been an accident… But he was there, Rose! He killed my team, every last one of them. I trusted them and he–”

The cold drip of dread ran through her again. “Oh god, Jack, I’m so sorry. How long… How long have you been here?”

He laughed, a hollow sound that made her skin crawl. “I’ve lost track. A hundred years, at least.” Rose looked at him confused, and he sighed, running a hand over his face. “He never told you, did he? Christ… Rose, whatever happened on Satellite Five, whatever you did… You brought me back. The Daleks, they’d got me. But you brought me back. Only, you did it… a little too enthusiastically. You brought me back for good. I can’t die, Rose.”

Denial coursed through her, almost as strong as the dread. But they didn’t have time for this, for her stupid ape brain to catch up to everything right now. She’d deal with this later. “Why did he keep you, then?”

“As a pet? I don’t know. I never understood him much before, and now… Sometimes I think he likes to torture me, to know there’s another creature aboard that’s just as miserable and alone as he is.”

 _Rose._ The gentle voice in her head made her sit up and away from him. _Rose, he knows where you are now. He’s on his way. You can’t stay. Go. Go now._

“Jack, come on. We’ve got to hurry. Can you walk?” Supporting him as he staggered shakily to his feet, he shook her off. “Yeah, yeah, lets go!”

She snagged his hand, dragging him down the halls behind her, trusting the TARDIS to guide them. It wasn’t long until she delivered them into a console room. Not the one she knew by heart. It was smaller, classier. None of the rough edges or exposed wires of the one she’d come to love. The coral struts had been replaced by elegant pillars. Instead of a ratty jump seat, there was a cozy little couch next to a bookshelf. _An older version of the console room. Now listen to me, Rose…_

She didn’t say a word to Jack as she listened to the internal monologue. Her hands hesitated for only a moment before initializing the sequence the TARDIS led her through. A soft hum rose from the console, replaced by the familiar wheezing, and the TARDIS shuddered around them. She groaned and wheezed before shuddering to a stop.

“Oh, god.” Jack’s shaky voice made her look up.

Right into the thunderous and yet disappointed eyes of the Valeyard.


	9. Chapter 9

She let out a squeak of fear, stumbling backwards even as the Valeyard stormed towards her, catching her tightly around the waist. “Leave her alone!” Jack yelled, running towards them. But the Valeyard didn’t even spare him a glance, just hauled Rose into him and off the floor; one hand reached out almost boredly, flipping a switch on the console.

A sizzle ran through the room as sparks ran across the floor. The high voltage caught Jack; his body seized up, eyes rolling back into his head as he convulsed, then dropped to the floor. Rose screamed, thrashing against the Valeyard. But he didn’t even flinch, just held her tighter and walked out of the console room, throwing open the doors.

The planet before them was rocky and uneven. Not even a bird chirped, not even an insect buzzed in the quiet evening. Rose looked up, watching in terror as the stars and planets spun around them.

“You wanted to ruin the surprise?” His voice was startlingly soft, yet still heated as he stared down at her. Those warm brown eyes holding such cold, distant fury terrified her more than anything she’d ever faced. “Very well, I guess you’ll see my little project early.”

Her feet never touched the ground as he dragged her down into a gravelly pit. Some sort of machine was under construction, a large panel facing a labyrinth of clear walls with strange symbols scrawled across them. Sparks jumped from circuit board to circuit board, and the whole thing seemed to shimmer in front of them.

He set her down at his side before his hands caressed the controls of the machine. “What have you done?” she asked in a hoarse whisper.

“This, Rose Tyler, is the Matrix. Well, rather a duplication of the Matrix that was once built on Gallifrey. Some of the parts required for the original have fallen out of Time, so I’ve had to make due with what I could find popping around the universe.”

As he talked, he pulled a small, smooth, black device from his pocket. It fit into the palm of his hand, but as he rubbed his fingers over it, it began to glow with a soft red light. “That’s what you were after on Yexentreba II,” she challenged, watching as he plugged it into the control board.

“Very good, Rose! I always knew you were brighter than most.” He beamed at her. She scowled back. He fished in the pockets of his coat, going nearly to the elbow as he dug around for something. When his hand emerged, he was clutching the device from the volcano planet.

“You!” She took an involuntary step back. “You sabotaged it. You killed Mera! And all those people. And for what? For your stupid… Matrix?!”

He sighed as he wired it into the console, sliding it beneath. “Rose, you don’t understand. Not yet. Please, just listen to me.” He paused, but she just stared at him in horror. “What is a few lives in the face of all lives that ever existed and ever will exist?”

“Are you going to use this machine to kill them too? The TARDIS said–”

He growled and shot a glare back the way they’d come. “I knew she was helping you.” He smoothed his features back over. “I suppose I can’t blame you for not understanding; it was due to my insistence that you not know much about the Time Lords.”

He tapped a few keys and a low hum began to build. The system shuddered, then vanished, replaced by a single black door. “The Matrix was a repository of all the memories and consciousnesses of all the Time Lords, as well as data collected by their TARDISes. The vast network of information was incredibly powerful.”

He smiled sadly and her heart twinged at how much she recognized that expression. “With just one Time Lord, a machine built to the same specifications wouldn’t be running at any measure of capacity.” He turned back to her, a manic gleam in his eye. “That’s why I had to gather those supplies, that’s why I’ve modified this one to serve a different purpose. I will use Rassilon’s own calculations. This Matrix will bring some order to this universe. I’ve saved it so many times, Rose, and I’m tired. Tired of all the meddling aliens and evil tyrants and accidents in time. I’m saving it for good, Rose. I’ll keep everything the way it’s safest. And nothing will be able to change that.”

He stepped towards her, but she took a step back. “This is wrong, Doctor! And you know it. You can’t do this.”

“But we help people, Rose! It’s what we do!” His frustration was back and it had brought along its pal, rage. “You said it yourself.”

“It’s selfish! You can’t just take away people’s choice like that, force them to behave the way you want just ‘cause you’re tired. To let people be good, you have to let them have the chance to be bad and choose better. This isn’t helping anyone but yourself!”

He closed in on her, pulling her against him with a tight grip. His lips pressed into a thin line as he looked down at her. “Maybe I’m ready to be selfish then, Rose. I’ve lost too much already; I won’t lose anyone else. Why can’t you see this is the best way? The universe ours to control, with you by my side.” He freed one hand and touched it gently to the side of her face. “My pink and yellow girl.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains character death.

Rose brought her knee up between his legs, connecting hard against him. He let go of her with a grunt, stumbling away before he collapsed. He was blocking the way back to the TARDIS; with only a second’s hesitation, she ran for the black door that hovered a few feet away.

As soon as she stepped through the doorway, the rocky terrain melted away into rolling hills of red grass under an orange sky. She’d stumbled across the Gallifreyan room in the TARDIS once by accident and knew in an instant where she was. A forest of silver-leaved trees caught her eye and she dashed towards them.

Just as she got behind the first row, the Valeyard’s voice echoed after her. “Rose, don’t!”

“You’re not the Doctor!” she yelled back, stumbling over a root. “You’re some… some twisted version, perverted and all wrong. You tricked me!” She cursed herself under her breath, blinking the tears away as she ran. She didn’t have time to deal with the loss of the Doctor right now. “The Doctor never would have done this! He would have known it was wrong.”

“You don’t understand, you stupid girl!” His voice was close enough to make her heart hammer louder and her feet move faster. “This is who I am. This is who I was always headed to be.”

“Well I’m not going to–”

She ran full pelt into him, his arms wrapping tightly around her before she had time to change course. “You forget,” he breathed into her face, teeth bared, “that this is my domain. I control everything. Did you really think you could disobey me, when the whole universe will soon bend to my will?”

She thrashed, but he held her tight, hands twisted behind her back. Movement over his shoulder caught her eye, but she kept her gaze trained on his face.

His eyes softened for just a moment, and he bent his head towards her. She thrashed harder, turning her head just in time for his lips to meet her hair. He snarled, pushing her away from him. “Rose Tyler–”

Jack stepped up behind him, swinging a solid-looking bar across the back of his head. The Time Lord’s eyes rolled up as he collapsed once more to the ground.

Rose was in his arms in an instant, hands pressed to either side of his face as she scanned him. “I thought he’d killed you!”

Jack gave her a wry smile. “I told you before, I’m not that easy to kill.” He nudged her back towards the trees, back towards where she’d entered the Matrix. “Come on, lets get out of here.”

“Oh god, Jack, what are we going to do?” She shot the Valeyard one last look before she hurried back into the trees.

“I don’t know. Tear this thing apart? Trap that in here forever where he can’t do anymore harm? Maybe the TARDIS would take us somewhere else even without him to pilot. I think I remember–”

A shriek echoed through the trees, followed by a thunderclap so loud it knocked Rose to the ground. She caught herself as she landed, palms scraping painfully, and wheeled around, just to catch the last of Jack dispelling into dust, drifting down to the forest floor. Her wide eyes turned slowly back the way they’d been, the world swinging into focus a moment later.

As the illusion around her crackled and disappeared, it left only the clear symboled walls around her and the Valeyard. He lowered a gun, still fizzing with energy, before tossing it aside. “Particle disseminator. I’d be impressed to see him come back from that,” he said almost boredly as he toed the pile of dust.

Then his eyes turned to Rose and she felt the marrow freeze in her bones. “I hadn’t wanted to do that.”

She was on her feet in a flash, running towards the entrance to the Matrix, which stood only another foot away. The Valeyard crashed along behind her, but she slammed the door before he could reach it, gathering the mental defenses the Doctor had taught her before she tapped the lock.

It held long enough for his bellow of rage to echo around her, spurring her on towards the TARDIS. Even as she reached the blue doors, she heard something shatter, and knew her lead was up. _Rose, hurry, back to Jack’s room. I’ll help you trap him._

She sped up, knowing at any moment he’d be upon her. She barely had time to skid into the rank cell room and tucked herself behind the door before he charged into it. “You never were good at listening, were you?” he snarled, scanning the room.

She stepped out from behind the door, hand firmly on the handle. “You never were good at not being much of a knob, especially in this body.” He lunged at her, but she took a step back, and the TARDIS slammed the door, gears whirring into place as she locked him in.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains major character death.

Rose flinched back as his weight collided against the door, a few more thuds echoing as he pounded his fists against it. Listening to him rage like a trapped animal, like he had used to do every time they’d gotten thrown in some tiny cell before they’d been separated, the weight of everything that had happened flooded into her, she sank against the wall.

Jack. He really was gone this time. And the Doctor… She hadn’t even known to miss him, but now she was trapped with this maniac. Trapped alone, with no avenue of help, comfort, or escape.

She traced a lingering bruise from their last night together on her wrist. “What happened to you?” It was only when her voice broke that she realized she’d begun sobbing.

Everything in the room across from her went still. Finally, when she’d just about gathered the strength to get up and leave, to get as far away from him as the ship would let her, he answered. “The specific moment when I gave up on any delusions of saving anyone, of being the good guy at the expense of everything I deserved? Funny enough, it started with an old man.

“I met him, for the first time, at a newspaper stand on Christmas eve. Nearly everyone else had abandoned the city in expectation of something terrible happening. You know how Christmases with me are like. Everyone gone, except this newspaper man, and the Queen herself.

“Well, I didn’t think him much bother. My companion after you, Martha, she’d gotten fed up with me and left. So I took a cruise. After meeting the old man… Everyone on board died. The same thing that happens every time I just try to enjoy what’s in this universe.

“Then Donna turned up again. I told you about Donna, didn’t I? The loud woman who appeared on the TARDIS without warning or reason?” Rose made a choked noise of agreement; he’d told her about Donna with that sad look in his eyes, Martha too, the first night they’d shagged. “As impossible as it was, she found me again. And even more impossible, the old newspaper man was her grandfather. Wilfred Mott. He was a good man.

“Then everything got bollocksed up, like it always done. The whole universe, conspiring to take everything I wanted away from me. But this time, it had the audacity to give it back to me first before taking it away.”

She raised her head, staring at the door in confusion. “You came back, Rose.” For the first time since she’d been reunited with him, he had that awe in his voice that he’d once always held for her. “Didn’t listen to a word I said, built a dimension canon when the stars started going out, to warn me, and to come back. You said it yourself.”

“But I didn’t–”

He laughed dryly, pounding once more on the door. “Of course you didn’t! Because after all that, I had to take you back, with… with him. For good. No more Rose Tyler coming to save this sorry old Doctor. And everyone else left, too. Even Donna. She forgot me. Had to, to save her life.”

“I don’t under…”

“It doesn’t matter,” he interrupted, voice dripping with venom. “None of it matters anymore. Because you see, I’d given up. No one cared about me anymore. I’d lost everything. Only Wilf promised to remember me, good old Wilf. But then I got told of this stupid prophecy, that I was going to die. So I ran. As far as I could.”

“You’re good at that,” she half-laughed, half-sobbed, unable to stop herself.

But he didn’t join in. His voice was cold as he continued. “It wasn’t far enough. Never will be. The Time Lords came back. They decided, damn the rules of time, damn the rest of the universe. They were coming back, even if it meant destroying everything else. But I stopped them. An old mate of mine, the Master, he sacrificed himself to finish it off. Locked the Time Lords back in the Time Lock. Everything settled, and despite the prophecy, despite everything, I was still alive.

“And then Wilfred.”

She shivered at the drop in his voice. The old man had been the only point of affection since he started his story. Now it was filled with the same contempt and loathing she’d garnered out of him.

“The stupid man, as any bumbling, good human would do, got himself trapped in a nuclear meltdown room to save another poor innocent sod. The machine that had been built to bring the Time Lords back, it couldn’t take the strain and had gone critical. The control room Wilfred was trapped in was going to flood with radiation, killing anyone inside. The only way to save him would have been to sacrifice myself.”

She was on her feet, hands pressed hard against the door. “But don’t you see, that’s what you do. Even when it’s completely stupid, even when the universe could use you so much more, you save people. You saved me.”

“And what did that get me?” he yelled back, pounding against the door again. “All my friends, gone, off on happy lives of their own, forgotten all about me. You, off with some copy of me, off to have your happy human life without a single care for this old Time Lord. And not even a single other Time Lord to understand what it’s like.

“I wouldn’t do it again! I knew there was so much more I could do. So much more I had to do, to stop this universe, to give fate a taste of its own medicine, to stop it from taking so much from me or anyone else ever again! I let Wilfred die, as he had chosen to. I lost the only friend I had remaining. And then I got to work to set it all right.”

“That doesn’t make it better!” she yelled back, kicking the door. “I don’t care if he was an old man, or that he’d chosen it. You let him die and you didn’t even try to help! That’s when you stopped being the man I loved.”

The squeak of his trainer had her guessing he’d flinched back. Everything fell deadly quiet again.

Then his voice came through, soft, muffled, as if he had his whole body pressed against the door. “Rose,” he moaned, pounding once more on it. “Please, Rose.” His tone nearly shattered her heart. She took a step away. “If anyone could save me, it would be you. Damn the timelines. Please, Rose. Rose!”

She pressed her hands over her ears, hurrying away. She’d heard all she needed to. The Doctor truly was gone, as gone as Jack. The Valeyard was who he was, who he’d always been headed towards. Her heart was splintering into tiny pieces as she trudged farther away from him, from his pleas and calls, anywhere she could get to be free of him.

A weariness deeper than anything she’d ever felt, even after Bad Wolf Bay, set into her. She dragged her feet, wishing desperately that her room was closer by.

_You can’t rest yet._

Rose shoved the TARDIS’s words away, scanning for a suitable room.

_I’m sorry, Rose. Really, I am. I can feel how much this has hurt you. But the machine, the Matrix, is still tearing apart the fabric of time every moment it is turned on. You have to shut it down. Please._

“Alright, alright,” she murmured, rubbing her knuckles against her forehead. “But then you have to take me somewhere far, somewhere I can rest, somewhere we can keep everyone safe from him.”

Her feet dragged a path back out the TARDIS, through the usual console room this time, down towards the gravel pit. The TARDIS implanted an image of the sequence of buttons she needed to push before she got too far away. She sent a salute back to the blue box before sitting on the cusp of the pit, sliding down the gravel to save legs too weary to make the climb.

She heaved herself to her feet in front of the control board, scanning for the buttons the TARDIS had shown her. Red one first. Yellow star twisted anticlockwise twice. Orange one held down for fifteen seconds. Green lever–

The hair on the back of her neck stood up a moment before fingers wrapped tightly around her neck, squeezing. She convulsed against the grip, clawing desperately at the hands, mouth opening for a scream that couldn’t make it past her throat.

She was drawn back against a hard chest, as her limbs started to relax against her commands. As black crept into the edges of her vision, she turned her head just enough to catch a shock of brown hair, and a long, skinny, freckled nose. “I’d believed in you,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to her cheek, before his words lost all meaning and she slid the rest of the way to the ground.


End file.
